Blood Pressure Blog

Dating is one of the most bipolar experiences known to man, either fulfilling where your heart has an aneurysm by sheer love coursing through your veins, or absolutely terrible that makes you want to jump off a cliff. In my opinion, there is very little in between.

Like the Hot-Crazy matrix that compares all people on a sliding scale, it turns out science and general location also affects how a date actually goes. My proximity to San Francisco dictates a majority of this, so social experiences are thus defined by this. Frankly, on my most recent one, I really fucked up with the location.

If there’s one thing that transcends culture, language, and religion, it’s the fact that everyone likes to get drunk. For example, I know for a fact that my future gay/emo son named Dylan is going to be like “Dad, the only bonding thing between us is alcohol”. Because people have caught onto this, art galleries, museums, and parks in San Francisco have ‘after-dark’ hours – just excuses to sell more tickets to tech stars that want to drink. I’m sure this is a common thing all around the US as public places reopen, but the Bay has become notorious for some drunk 20-something year old breaking a 100-year old sculpture just because he had one too many vodka-sodas.

Enter the Exploratorium, a similar sort of museum known for interactive exhibits, large physics displays, and a generally family friendly vibe between normal business hours. However, as the clock strikes 6pm, all hell breaks loose as people on first dates looks to bond over their love for science wut?? My experience here this week was very mixed, and though I’m not going to talk about the connection to my date herself, I realize this blog post is about to be a glorified yelp-post just ripping on the Exploratorium.

Thing that define me – having to take a piss every 30 minutes (hydrate or die-drate). Regardless, I walk towards the divider for the men’s and women’s bathrooms, to be met with a sign saying 5’7’’ and above to the right, and everybody else to the left. Turns out the woke crowd of San Francisco has abolished the age long concept of men’s and women’s restrooms only to herd museums patrons like cattle based on size. The unfortunate outcome of this was that they removed the urinals from all restrooms, literally something that defines us as men. Though I love the LGBT+ community, I’m really starting to despise gender neutral bathrooms just by their sheer inefficiency. Regardless, this was probably the only opportunity where a guy can scream in complete bewilderment when a girl goes into the wrong bathroom, making for an amazing visual.

The museum was having a special exhibit celebrating the Transgender community. Because I’m such a supporter for general gender rights for all, the museum wanted handwritten notes from after-dark patrons, I wrote them this –

The exhibits in the museum were also extremely lukewarm. Maybe if I was anti-science, I would have an appreciation for calling all the exhibits fake, but it’s ok I already know what a convex mirror and a Van de Graff Generator is. Fortunately, after my AP Physics lesson/date was finally finished, once again we can say that true love is on the hot seat because location can really throw some weird juju into chemistry.

Also shoutout to my date. She was the one positive on the night.