The head coaching position in the NFL has entered a period of flux. Through the 2000’s the stereotype of an NFL coach was one who was likely older, borderline obese, could have a heart attack on the sideline, and gradually was losing his will to live throughout the regular season. Unfortunately, we’re not describing either Dementors or Urban Meyer, but rather actual human beings running billion-dollar sports franchises – orchestrating the entire show with the ever-impending axe of unemployment over their heads.
The NFL head coaching landscape has drastically since 2017, with teams willing to take calculated risks on younger head coaches – supposedly having new ideas with new ambitions and a new vitality to life that likely hasn’t graced the NFL since John Madden (rest his soul). When head coaches like Kyle Shanahan and Sean McVay were hired, the media was quick to dismiss them as ambitious, hot, and stupid, only to stagger at their inevitable success. Now, NFL media literally fangirls over coaches that don’t look like they have a foot in the grave – spurring amazing articles like ‘Ranking NFL Head Coaches by Hotness’ – clearly an objective fact that Kliff Kingsbury is the hottest coach in the NFL even though he has a rock for brains. The narrative has flipped completely into thinking that physical attractiveness somehow directly correlates to success – wow who would’ve thought…
This year there’s a new hot coach on the block – San Francisco 49ers offensive coordinator Mike McDaniel. McDaniel has received numerous head coaching interviews benefiting from the plethora of teams cleaning house, closely linked to the Miami Dolphins job. Unlike classic interview strategies of asking boring questions like – ‘is there 401K matching’ or ‘how much PTO do I get’, McDaniel comes into interviews like a football assassin dressed as a hipster. His only stipulation being whether his home city has legalized recreational marijuana, and frankly this should be what we all strive for in our professional lives. If I ran a football team, I’d hire a bunch of potheads because then at least I’d be guaranteed that cooler heads will always prevail.
McDaniel further breaks the mold of NFL head coach, deviating from the hot Instagram model head coach, into guy that pushes Dogecoin at the Thanksgiving dinner table. McDaniel has become extremely popular with the Bay Area media for his Michael Scott-esque bits. Mind you, he’s one playoff win away from becoming a stand-up comedian at Superbowl Media Day with a full Netflix special likely waiting in the wings. As a master of filling the awkward silences, McDaniel answers questions that he creates with his own brain if the media simply doesn’t have any.
Joining an entourage is one of the best ways to fame and success, and McDaniel is the definition of a groupie. Graduating with a history degree from Yale and interning under Mike Shanahan, McDaniel eventually followed him to the Washington R-Words to become friends with his son Kyle Shanahan – only to follow him like a lap dog to Cleveland, Atlanta, and now Santa Clara. Over the past decade, Mike McDaniel has taught us all a Masterclass in not making any connections and still furthering a career, being the epitome of the phrase ‘no new friends’.
The jury is still out on whether McDaniel is actually a good football coach, or is just the guy that shows people his NFT collection at your local skate park. For the sake of the NFL, I hope he gets head coaching gig somewhere. He may not be the stereotypical football guy, but rest assured he’ll be a lot of fun in the locker room and someone that players should be able to get behind.
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