1. 2 Girls 1 Kupp (11-0)
Owner – Satwik Nandala, Vivaan Patel
Last Week – #1
These guys might be the darlings of the league, but they want you to be fooled – destined for failure. Don’t play yourselves, Satwik and Vivaan are like the really hot girl in high school that everyone wants to take to prom. Fast forward a few years in the future, that girl is likely pregnant with 2 kids, divorced, and going through tough financial times. The moral of the story… don’t peak in high school. Nothing good has ever come from a team that’s been on a historical clip – the 2015-16 Warriors, the 2007 Patriots, 2018-19 Tampa Bay Lightning, every single Atlanta sports team up to 2021, 2021 Novak Djokovic, I could literally continue as to why peaking early is never a good thing. The expectations are sky high for Satwik and Vivaan, and I expect a catastrophic, but expected collapse.
Award – Top Score of the Week/Nikhil Ramesh D/ST of the Week
2. DoubleTrey Hotel (9-2)
Owner – Manoaj Kandiakounder
Last Week – #2
eManoaj has gone throughout the season relatively under the radar. As the clear cut 2nd seed, and likely to be such in th playoffs, Manoaj has had multiple free wins against inferior opponents who have been caught slacking when it comes to setting their lineups. This may not be Manoaj’s fault per se, but likely this week’s Fraud is on a constant upset watch, as Manoaj really should have 7-wins according to ATL. Added to the fact that the RB group is on the weaker side means that I’m not projecting postseason success. Karma will eventually come back for revenge. This is having shades of former Chinmay teams that are great in the regular season, but have no post-season success.
3. Waddle House (6-5)
Owner – Nikhil Ramesh
Last Week – #6
A lot of people every week are like ‘bUt mY TeAm iS DeEp’. Well, Ramesh somehow managed to start the Titans D/ST against literally one of the worst teams in the league, the Texans, and got their cheeks clapped in the process. Fortunately, it worked out in the end, but we can’t downplay the fact that Ramesh played Parth/Amit, one of the worst teams in the league. Here’s the breakdown, the play of Tua and Mac Jones is extremely critical for Ramesh, and though they’re playing considerably better recently, these names do not scream sustainability. Are we going to see to regression back to the norm for these players? Is Terry McLaurin a good starting option? The boom or bust potential for Ramesh is quite high, and starting players on this dEeP team is like playing roulette every week. Ramesh is going to get it right some weeks, wrong, others, and that will likely keep him from the top spot on the podium.
Award – Team of the Week
4. Ayush Football Team (6-5)
Owner – Ayush Jha
Last Week – #4
Ayush was asking to lose this week by starting Kirk Cousins, playing some losing football with a combination of his two WRs. Unfortunately this team sucks because of the injuries to its best players, CeeDee Lamb, and Lamar Jackson – will these players come back and have the strength to push Ayush to a better playoff performance? The bench on this team is not looking great, with only Jarvis Landry being a serviceable option. As literally the single most inconsistent team, defense wins championships isn’t happening any time soon, with the Browns D/ST having some suspect games. I don’t think this team is a true contender at all, given WR problems, and a lot of consistency issues.
5. This Justin: I Hate Carolina (6-5)
Owner – Matt Lord
Last Week – #7
Ok everybody, let’s all calm don for a quick second. Don’t forget that Matt’s team was literally left for dead like a month ago and was at the bottom of the power rankings for like 3-4 weeks straight. My dude got clickbaited into picking up Adrian Peterson and now he doesn’t even play for a team. The reason why this team sucks is the same exact reason that this team sucked to begin with, consistency and injuries. We don’t cheer for injuries, but CMC, a few weeks ago, made the business decision to hang out with his girlfriend rather than play NFL football. Are the likes of James Connor and Jeff Wilson really good enough for long term playoff success? Let’s also not forget that Justin Herbert hasn’t been the pinnacle of consistency either. But hey, watching Matt’s team play well is like watching a toddler learning how to walk, a slow and painful process.
6. mcKISSic MY bASS (6-5)
Owner – Noah Rickles
Last Week – #3
Noah has an extremely one dimensional team – to run the ball down the opponent’s throat with Kamara. Now on IR, no great players have stepped up to take his spot. I’d argue that AJ Brown is likely the best player on this team. And with no clear RB1 without Kamara, the lack of consistency on this team is the major hindering point for this team. Noah has gone 9-2, 3-8, 9-2, and 0-11 ATL over the past 4 weeks. What truly makes this league a Mickey Mouse league is the fact that even with a score of 61 points, Noah still almost won his matchup against Arpan. Patrick Mahomes might be the worst QB in history, so if Noah had balls of steel he would drop him on waivers. Noah really squandered a good thing for his team, and that’s why he’s trending in the wrong direction.
Award – Dumpster Fire of the Week
7. Cook out (5-6)
Owner – Keshav Ravi
Last Week – #5
Keshav sucks SOOOOO much that I literally made a one time award for him that I’m only going to give once in the season. Introducing the Freezing Cold Take of the Year (FCTOTY). Let’s be reminded that Keshav, before this week was to even start, made a snap judgement that he was going to beat the top seeded team in the league. And at moment we knew, he fucked up. Keshav not only managed to lose, but somehow managed a deep throat on top of his freezing cold take. Brb going to change Keshav’s LinkedIn status to ‘down extremely bad’.
Award – Deep Throat of the Week/ Freezing Cold Take of the Year
8. Score a TD Boston (4-7)
Owner – Nikhil Ramanan
Last Week – #11
Sometimes I feel like Ramanan doesn’t like fantasy football. Fantasy football has done this man sooo dirty in the past, the league broke Ramana’s brain in ways unimaginable even more than the Falcon’s 4-year superbowl hangover. David Montgomery is somehow an RB1, Saquon Barkley has achieved bust status consistently, and lack of a top tier QB really hinders this team from any semblance of success. A pussy win this week does help, but does it really matter when facing the worst team by record. I see no light at the end of the tunnel here, as Ramanan will find a way to trip himself up in the saddest story that happens without fail almost every year.
9. Foster the Peoples-Jones (4-7)
Owner – Chinmay Kulkarni
Last Week – #8
This team sucked before the Robert Woods injury, and it sure as hell sucks after the Robert Woods injury. The literal definition of a refugee camp is headed by bottom prospects Cole Beasley and Ty Johnson. Unfortunately, even the Johnson and Johnson vaccine couldn’t help out this team get to the playoffs, and it would be by some miracle to do so, being last in the points for category for pretty much the entire season, having a few fraudulent wins, and having the worst ATL record by a long shot, going to the playoffs is likely a mountain too big to climb.
10. Gay Rights (4-7)
Owner – Arpan Bhavsar
Last Week – #12
Kirk Cousins may be a pussy passer, but Arpan is a pussy winner. Literally the worst win on the fantasy season somehow went to Arpan, who either has the best or the worst luck in fantasy football. The fact of the matter is simple, much of Arpan’s fantasy woes are self-inflicted, not setting lineups, being slow on waiver claims, and not using the FAAB, would have likely made Arpan’s life a whole lot easier. Unfortunately, Arpan stands as a 4 win team, not projecting great against Chinmay in week 12. With the fantasy chopping block coming up soon, Arpan’s team likely won’t make it with his degree from the set and forget school of fantasy management.
11. Brady 4Ever (3-8)
Owner – Parth Patel, Amit Dommeti
Last Week – #9
Some say that two heads are better than one, but in this case, one head might be enough for the job. Literally one of the worst teams in the league gets its weekly shitpumping by starting Hunter Renfrow, Michael Carter, and Michael Gallup. Younghoe Koo, being one of the best kickers in the league, manages to get negative one points, and showing the real consequence of bad management. It’s going to be a race for the 8th seed with a 29% chance on making the playoffs, really should be 0%.
12. Chasing the Playoffs (2-9)
Owner – Vikas Molleti
Last Week – #10
Some people are born winners – they dominate from day 1. Though it may be about drive, about power, Vikas just continually gets humbled and devoured by every single team in the league. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be, maybe Vikas just sucks at fantasy football. You have to ask yourself the question, when was the last time Vikas as made the playoffs, not since I’ve been born. Vikas manages to get clowned week in and week out, starting a traveling circus pretty much every single week. Oh wait, remember when Cordarrelle Patterson was good, well he’s on IR now. Vikas has the best D/ST in the league – well they suck now. The living, breathing personification of the Bad Luck Brain meme will definitely find a way to hit new lows and invent new ways to lose.
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