Blood Pressure Blog

The 2020 Olympics have finally arrived in 2021, and if that isn’t traumatic enough, now we have to watch people handle live guns and throw spears on live worldwide TV. There’re a plethora of sports in the Olympics, some new, such as surfing, and some as old as the Olympics itself, such as boxing. As a fan of all types of sport, I’d like to think that I could probably bring home gold for my country in some sport with a little bit of training. As a semi-athletic guy with not that much time to train, here are some sports that I think it would be really easy to win gold in.

Table Tennis

As a guy with some tennis experience, I think switching my location to the indoor sports arena would do wonders on the ease of training. Table tennis may be one of the easiest sports to train for, just go to any bar in America, down like 3 beers, and just challenge random people to ping-pong on the shitty half-falling apart table in the corner of the bar. Table tennis is also a great sport for pulling guys/girls as well, because there’s a mixed double version of the sport, which when you watch on TV, looks like the most hectic sport ever created just to be veiled as the most basic form of couple’s therapy.  

Race Walking

I think I would already be a champion race walker if I was still in college trying to trek my way across campus in a timely manner without being “that guy” that sprints to class. Race walking is a pretty simple sport, you must have one foot on the ground while having the other knee completely straight plus some other loops they force you to jump through. Race walkers are also any age, so if I trained for like 20 years and still somehow qualified for the US race walking team, I would have a chance to beat up on Eastern European nations just by pure mental fortitude.

Equestrian Sports

This might be the most chill group of sports that’s pretty much the grown up equivalent of the Westminster Dog Show for horses. There is very little riding on the rider in this symbiotic relationship, this sport seems to pretty much be 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain and a 100% just the horse.

Sailing

If there was a sport that gives you an Olympic medal just for being rich, this is the sport for you. They should honestly just give the gold to whoever can snort the most cocaine in a Cape Cod powder room. Is there even a track for inner city and land locked kids to get a chance to compete in sailing? I think not. Therefore, just be rich, probably live in the northeast, and have a record of insider trading to net yourself the gold.

Powerlifting

If there’s a sport where the person who eats the most and has the worst metabolism has a chance of winning, this is the sport for you. Bulking szn personified is one of the oldest and most caveman-like sports easily summarized by “big wo/man lift heavy object”. If I ate nonstop for like a year I think I’d gain enough weight to the point where I’d reach the point of no return towards the journey to a six-pack. Fortunately, this sport has a sense of training as well, so you actually have to have a little bit of mental fortitude and technique to this sport as well.