There’s generally a formula when it comes to blockbuster movies. There’s generally a formula for being a successful silver screen actor. The name Lebron James does not come to mind when mentioning either of these groups. Lebron’s new movie Space Jam: A New Legacy is nostalgia fodder for those that saw the initial space Jam production from Michael Jordan- a movie, by no means good, but was a still fun watch. Similarly, the movie franchise’s second iteration is chock full of cringe worthy moments that really make you wonder whether Warner Brother’s Studio’s is just a proxy wing run by crackhead energy from the r/NBA subreddit.
It’s important to note that Space Jam 2 is a children’s movie, and Lebron James has made a pretty good one at that. The Looney Tunes will always be funny, whether it’s Bugs Bunny running through a painted tunnel, or Roadrunner throwing a piano at Wile E. Coyote, or Lola Bunny not being thikk anymore – they’ll always be funny, and Lebron gets his ass carried by the Looney cast of characters for the entire movie.
My biggest gripe of the movie is Lebron James himself. I firmly believe that Lebron self-sabotages his own movie by delivering cringe-worthy line after cringy-worthy line in his fake sounding baritone voice. If not for that, we’d have a top tier kids movie. Unfortunately, Lebron himself is the victim of his own shitty acting by joking throughout the movie about it being a bad idea for athletes to go into acting. I almost respect the irony of this, but Lebron seems to have broken the fourth wall and seemingly fallen into a pit on the other side.
Here are a few half-baked thoughts on the movie
Movie MVP – Wile E. Coyote
Lebron is known to get carried by his teammates throughout his illustrious NBA career. This movie is no different. By far the player on the Toon Squad that scores the most points is Mr. Coyote. Before Wile E. Coyote goes ballistic and drops like 500 points on the Goon Squad, the Toons are down by like 800 points. Not only is this accomplished using the most preposterous method of creating a machine to duplicate the actual basketball to shoot buckets, he also enlists the help of his longtime enemy, Roadrunner. Wile E. Coyote is the definition of a good teammate, good facilitator, and is clearly the MVP of the team.
Hot Seat – Bryce Maximus James
Lebron’s second child IRL wasn’t in the movie, but it’s very clear that Lebron’s movie child, Dom, was most like his middle child. Dom is nerdy in the movie, develops video games, has a penchant for programming, and wants to go to some nerd camp for summer. We all know Bronny Jr is the dynamic basketball player in the family, but is Bryce Maximus on the hot seat for looking for having glasses and larger frame while being in the shadow of his brother? Is Lebron is playing seven-dimensional chess with not only his viewers, but his own family in this convoluted letter to Bryce?
Most Cringe worthy moment of the movie – Michael B. Jordan
I don’t think anybody got got when they teased introducing MJ into the movie and instead brought in Michael B. Jordan. My lizard brain knows the difference between greatness, Warner Brothers.
Beyond the shameless intellectual property plugs and the fact that this movie actually doesn’t take place in space, I didn’t really care for the Goon Squad either. Klay Thompson’s character, Wet-Fire, was more wet, than fire, Don Cheadle finally got to play the role of the villain and it doesn’t really suit him, Anthony Davis somehow wasn’t out for four to six weeks and Diana Taurasi got turned into a snake in the most misogynistic move in the movie.
Overall, get rid of Lebron, and you have a pretty solid kids movie.
Score 4/10. Get rid of the live action. Rather whole-ass one thing than half-ass two things.
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